Naomi, The Bitch
by Fitcherella
Summary: AU. Series 7. Naomi is a stand-up comedienne who loves to heckle & poke fun at everything and everyone. She lives her life without regard to other people's feelings, but when faced with medical tragedy she may have to reconsider her way of being and accept the help of the only person in her the world that has made her feel alive, her ex girlfriend Emily.
1. Naomi, the bitch

**Hey guys, I am ****Still having major writer's block with Wonderwall and I felt like writing something.**

**As I mentioned I've been dealing with illness and sometimes it just messes with you and then now wa****tching all this news about Robin Williams (so sad) has my mind completely discombobulated because he was one of my favorite actors/comedians of all time and it almost feels personal. I can't even watch the news because I end up tearing up. **

**Oddly enough it reminded me of when Naomi dies (obvious never the same, since she's but a character) but that feeling of loss of something you regarded as something sure and then it just ends in such a tragic way. I don' t know how to explain it, it's odd. I don't know if I am making any sense. **

**Anyway, so I wrote this thinking it might just be a one-shot for now but it could turn into more if you guys want. Let me know what you think, good or bad. **

**As usual, all that stuff about characters, beta, not being British is the same. I hope you enjoy this little bit. ****Thanks for reading.**

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_Naomi, The Bitch_

She was kind of a bitch, but then again that's exactly what people were expecting from her. And she could hardly remember herself when she wasn't that way. She could hardly remember ever talking to anyone around her in a non-sarcastic, non-mocking tone. Parody was her thing, because to her life was nothing but a horrible joke gone wrong.

Ever since she could remember her life had been ridiculously unfortunate and it wasn't as if as time passed things were getting any better.

"By a raise of hands…How many people here utterly and completely hate doctors?…And I don't mean, they bother you because they are a bunch of douche-bags…I mean actually literally despise their guts…"

She was a funny girl and her jokes often started with some kind of a ridiculous anecdote that wasn't entirely truthful on her part but that she'd embellish just a tiny bit (or maybe quite a lot) in order to entertain her audience, in order to mask the truth about how meaningless her life really was.

"What the fuck do you think you're going with those?" Effy asked as she saw her best mate (and flatmate) Naomi walk over like a zombie on painkillers from her the kitchen up to the little stairwell that led to their rooftop patio with a pack of fags in her hand and holding two bottles of wine Jake had brought her back on his business trip to France.

"Where does it look like I am going?" Naomi's voice muffled with her teeth caught holding a moving fag that wasn't yet lit. "Gonna go work on my master plan to take over the fucking world Pinky…what does it look like I am gonna go do?"

She held the two bottles of wine in each hand and made that annoying gesture with her lips that WAGs and other skanky girls make before taking a picture holding two bottle of some kind of alcohol…you know the pose. I know you could see it in your minds. "It's Monday night…gonna get pissed, as ush…wanna join?"

"No, I've got work tomorrow…like _a normal adult_" Effy answered a bit annoyed, she was starting to get tired of Naomi's attitude lately…especially because after all that had happened in the past few days she seemed to be in an even more awful mood (and thrice as sarcastic and petulant) as the day she'd met her back at Roundview.

"Right, well...who told you to grow up and be _normal _then?" Naomi spewed out a bit louder as the sounds of outside the street muffled their conversation.

She was now sitting in one of the lounge chairs that Katie had made them put up there when they all shared a flat together long ago. Katie had demanded they'd all have their fags outside ever since they first day they'd all moved in together. She hated the smell of smoke inside the house and when Katie demanded something, she pretty much always got it.

"One of us has to be, now that it's only you and I paying rent… and since neither Gina nor Anthea wanna to help us out anymore…"

"_Fuck them both_!" interrupted Naomi, yelling out and pushing the newly opened bottle in her hand into the crisp evening air and then taking a huge gulp from it…

"…Now we gotta fend for ourselves, you know…pay rent, buy food, pay for shit…" Effy continued trying to make her point after taking the bottle from her best mates hand and drinking some herself.

"Ya, well shit sucks…maybe we should _stop paying for it_…that could save us some…don't you agree?"

"Right, _stop paying for shit_…why didn't I think of that?"

She was more annoying than usual, Naomi was. A lot more annoying than she had been in a very long time and it wasn't just because of the news she'd gotten in the past week which was the only reason Effy would even put up with her shit this time…but also because despite this entire act, this whole mirage that she'd put up in front of each and every one of the people that were nearby her…Effy knew, she knew because Effy noticed everything and she had grown up noticing each and every single move of her best mate. And she knew how much this was all killing her, she knew how horrible the news of the tumor and the biopsy and the waiting a ridiculous amount of time to find out whether she was gonna 'buy the fucking farm' (like Naomi would crudely put it) was actually slowly killing her best mate from the insides.

So that's why, despite the fact that it was quite late and she had to be at work ridiculously early the next morning Effy had sat next to Naomi to shared a glass or two of that wine and to finish up the pack of fags together…that…and then there was also the guilt of what she had done.

"I told Emily…"

Naomi's eyes that had been focused on the deep colors of the horizon suddenly turned rapidly toward those of her best mate, those clear blue eyes that contrasted that raven black hair…the eyes that mesmerized even herself…

"Told her what?"

"Your cancer…well, the possibility of your…"

"Why the fuck would you fucking do that shit Elizabeth, what are back to playing Russian roulette with your medicine cabinet again or something?"

"Katie pulled it out of me…"

"_Katie_?"

"I had lunch with her…with them…they came in from Bristol to see their brother…"

"I don't give a rat's arse why they are here, they could be here as the poster children for an incestual twin porn convention and I wouldn't give three fucks…why would you fucking do that shit? Why would you fucking tell her anything…you had no right…"

"Because I was worried…"

"Worried?"

"…About the results, I was worried and you wouldn't let me talk to anyone…and Katie is my best mate…"

"I thought _I_ was your fucking best mate…"

"Well it's both of you…and you wouldn't talk to me, so naturally…"

"…Naturally you should fucking learn to shut up about shit that's none of your business…it's none of yours and none of hers….and Emily…"

"She started crying…"

"Crying?"

Naomi's voice cracking from the thought of Emily finding out about all this. All of a sudden she felt her entire stomach turning knots and she felt she could soon be sick from the mere thought.

"She Wants to see you…" Effy continued on, without grabbing Naomi's hand so she wouldn't leave. "…wants to see that you're okay, wants to know how you are doing…"

"No…hell no…hell fucking no…"

"She went to see you at _The Artisan_…"

"She went to see my show?"

"Yesterday night…"

"She was there yesterday? So she saw…"

"The entire thing…yes"

"The fanny jokes, too?"

"All of it…"

"For fucks sake Effy…"

Naomi stood up off the chair where had been sitting nursing one of the wine bottles in her hand and as she did she dropped the rest of the very expensive liquid into the floor, completely soaking the woven moccasins Gina had made for her during her time living with a south American tribe a few years prior.

"Fucking great!" her frustration was so severe that she could care less how long it had taken her mum to weave them or what type of a rare mystical power the tree from which they were made had. She took one of them off her left foot and threw it right out the roof into the street below in complete frustration.

"For fucks sake!"

She yelled out into the air, walking back in complete unbalance with one wine-soaked moccasin on her other foot making a very expensive stain on one of Effy's carpets.

Effy didn't say anything at all. She knew this was exactly how Naomi was gonna react after she told her she'd run into the twins and told them about her (possible) Cancer.

"Brilliant…just fucking brilliant"

Naomi's nervous energy was evident all over the flat.

She walked around in circles in the middle of the living area, uttering incoherent words woven with erratic insults in between.

She was nervous, she was furious, she was worried about Emily being in London and even worse, knowing all that was going on with her…and crying…_fucking crying_…she didn't wanna make Emily cry, not the way she'd made her cry the last time. Not the way she'd always end up making her cry.

"She's gonna be calling you in the next few days…maybe even tomorrow…"

"Tommorow?"

"She wants to see you and actually wanted to come yesterday night but I told her you were probably out on a date…"

"_On a date_?" Naomi's eyes were almost the size of tea saucers at hearing all Effy was telling her. "A date! That was the best you could come up with? Not that I was sick, not that I was tired, not that I had other commitments…but a fucking date?"

"Well, wasn't that what you were on?"

"With who?"

"Franky!"

"What…no…no…Franky and I….no-way, no-how…not a date, not ever…she's just a friend…"

"Who you shag _occasionally_…"

"Shagged…_once_…"

"Well, once is usually how it starts…you shag once, you like it…then you get drunk off your arse about your ex or your impeding life-threatening illness and so you shag again…"

"Well, FYI…that's not how it is with us. We shagged because that's how we met…but that doesn't mean it's gonna go anywhere else. We aren't attracted to each other that way…"

"You're both in love with other people, I fucking know…I still don't see how that prevents you from shagging, but whatever" Effy rolled her eyes at having heard that same old excuse for the both of them. Franky was now a regular at their house and Effy was sure Naomi was lying to her about having shagged her only once. They were too intimate, they were too friendly…you don't just shag someone then have them over to sleep over half-starkers 3 out of 7 nights a week and not shag them, even just while drunk. Naomi had to be lying.

"Well…" Effy went on, after taking away the other bottle of wine from Naomi's hand before she finished it all herself and poured some into a glass. "Whatever it is you're doing with this Franky, let me tell you…Emily is not gonna like it?"

Naomi stopped for a second; she was stunned at all she was hearing from Effy. She was stunned at the fact that her best mate was actually still telling her these things, still talking to her about Emily as if it was her and Emily from months before…as if her and Emily were still that couple that everyone always thought would make it all the way to the end. As if they were still Naomily, as Pandora still insisted on calling them.

"What? What'd I say?" Effy noticed Naomi's face immediately, even through the murky lighting of their small kitchen.

Naomi said nothing at all, but with Effy she hardly ever had to say much without her best mate already knowing what she was really thinking. And this wasn't just a virtue of their friendship…their legendary Naomi-Effy 'girl-mance' (like Cook called it; as opposed to bro-mance). It was a lot more than that.

While it was true Naomi and Effy were a lot more than 'besties' they knew each other much more than even Effy and Katie knew each other, so Effy knew…she knew it all too well because if Effy could read anyone else's mind just by looking at them, she could certainly read what Naomi was thinking and even feeling from as far away as a missile silo in Russia.

"Fuck you" Naomi couldn't say anything else. She was furious at all that was about to happen, all that Effy was putting her through well knowing she was freaking out so much about the fucking biopsy results that still hadn't come back.

"You need to hear those results with _her_ around" Effy answered Naomi's questions before they were answered. Her clear-blue eyes had a million whys written all over them and Effy did not wait until her best mate had to the courage to ask them.

"You can't go through this alone, in case you…"

"In case I'm gonna fucking die. Because cheating on her three times and then leaving her days before our wedding wasn't enough heartbreak for one person…Now I gotta go ahead and fucking die on her too. Brilliant."

Effy took Naomi into her arms and allowed her to cry the tears she' d been holding back ever since they'd sat together in that pistachio colored room waiting for someone to give either one of them an answer as to why Naomi had collapsed that day.

She hadn't cried then, when the ER doc, nor the nurses, nor the specialists had all suggested her blood levels indicated the worse.

She hadn't cried having to go back to work that same afternoon and doing her show while still floofed-up on extra morphine and with the hospital armband still hanging from her left arm underneath her jumper.

She hadn't cried when she went to gesture to an audience member and noticed the band hanging down and then decided to start to tell them all what had just happened to her.

When the audience went completely silent and then there were just a few gasps as she started her own rendition of her own Karmic fate and how it came back to bit her in the arse, just like mum told her it would.

All her life she'd told her to stop being a bitch because she was sowing rain and was gonna end up reaping thunder. She told her to be gentle and nice and appreciative. She told her to be careful with other people's hearts and even though at first…when she had met Emily this was her full intention, she had gone back to being that bitch she always was and then she'd screwed her over.

No one expected any less.

"So my body is like…that's it…I am done, I am leaving you too" She yelled out with a finger up in the air and a sarcastic laugh, the reverb of the microphone filling up the small club that was expecting yet another hilarious performance by that sarcastic bitchy blonde that told everyone to go fuck themselves right on stage.

She didn't give a fuck because it was all an act. It was her act, it was her fortress…it was the way she'd guarded herself from it all her entire life. It was all coming down and crumbling into pieces right in front of her very eyes.

"Come on, it's funny…innit?" She'd encourage the audience who all looked at her in complete awe at what she was joking with. They all knew she was a bitch; this was all an act…wasn't it?

"It's ironic…it's life's ridiculous irony. I am the bitch! I am so fucking horrible that even my own body is calling it quits. It hates my fucking guts"

She got off the stage that night with a lukewarm applause from the audience and a stare from her best mate Effy that told her all she needed to know.

She'd gone too far with it all, but that's who she was. She went too far, she mocked it all. Because life was a great big fucking joke, at least hers was.

She was Naomi, the bitch.

_Did anyone really expect anything more that?_


	2. Emily, the doormat

**_Thank you guys for your reviews, I know this isn't Wonderwall and it was just supposed to be a small drabble but an idea popped into my head. I know Naomi is a complete tosser right now but I guess the title doesn't leave much to the imagination, does it? Let's see where we can go with this. _**

**_Thanks for your reviews and for liking Wonderwall enough to poke me about it on here. LOL. _**

**_You know the drill on the beta and the chacters, so that's all I am gonna say. Review and let me know your thoughts. _**

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_Emily, The doormat_

The thing about life is that it revolves around circles and so we are caught up in stages in our lives in which we feel like all within our character has changed and that we are now this brand new person with a new sense of super-strength that suddenly grew out of all our past shit into the some sort of 'better-us' for no apparent reason. But that is all a lie.

Emily had been a doormat for most of her life until all of a sudden in those wonderfully magical days in Roundview college she discovered something about herself that made her start to believe she no longer had that fear of being rejected, that she would never in her life ever allow anyone else to push her around the way her sister and her mother had for almost 17 years. So she rebelled.

All of a sudden her hair (much like her life) was all shades of wild color and there were more piercings on her body than she could ever remember to count.

All of sudden she had a girlfriend and bright orange moped and her and Naomi were planning on travelling the world together and being gay and happy…and telling everyone else to fuck off and leave them be who they were.

Life was perfect and life was grand, until it all that happiness and all that strength and the good times and the fun and the crazy nights piled up in front of her, in front of all of them, like a house made out of twigs without foundation that just rose up out of nowhere.

And from that small, fragile house of twigs she built a castle…with all that inner strength and all that empowerment she built something in around her that felt like the strongest of fortresses…like the best place to be. And she no longer felt alone, she no longer felt like a doormat because her princess, her Naomi, that beautiful blonde girl she wanted to kiss ever since the first time she saw those beautiful clear blue eyes wanted her back and she was in there with her.

Naomi was inside that little castle of twigs, that fortress that took only a little bit wind to suddenly fall apart.

But when the castle fell apart, so did Emily.

"So you're gonna fucking go see her then"

"I have to…I gotta see her Kate, I can't just fucking stand here any longer and wait for her to 'be ready' to see me.

Emily was determined to just walk over from James' place to the place she and Katie (and Effy and Naomi) called their own once. But it wasn't all that easy to do, was it?

"I still don't why it is we must jump through all these hoops just so that you can meet up with her, for fucks sake, why can't we just take the fucking tube and walk right into their flat like we've always done? I still have a key, you know."

"I can't just walk into their flat like I fucking still live there, because I don't…we don't. This isn't a year ago. We've be invading her privacy, Katie."

"It's not invasion of privacy if I am walking into a flat that we still own part of…and for which I still have a key"

"..Only until Effy and Naomi can sell it or repay us… that's what we agreed up..."

"Still, own it…in fact, I can walk it whenever I want. In fact, I am only staying here with James out of courtesy to you, Lord know this place is a dump, I would much rather be sleeping in my old room...on my old bed...technically it's my house..."

"Technically it is, but verbally we agreed it was theirs and we can't just break a promise…so we won't just walk in to their flat and wait for her. I am not invading her privacy, I told you already..

"So you won't walk into her flat to talk to her because it's invasion privacy…but showing up at her doctor's appointment instead of Effy isn't invading her privacy?"

"Effy couldn't make it, she's having some issues at work…she asked me to go accompany her…"

"That's bollocks…Effy is banging her boss, that's not exactly what I'd call 'trouble at work'…this is just an excuse for you two to meet and even though I know you could give three rat's arses about my opinion, I suggest for once you listen to me about this Emsy…don't go to this thing…you're gonna regret going"

"And let her get this news by herself, no fucking way! I am going...so fuck off..."

"You are a helluva stupid cunt…don't say I never told you so!"

Emily pulled her middle finger out at her sister and started walking the other way toward the tube. She felt like her feet couldn't walk fast enough and as she looked at her watch, seeing that she might be late for the appointment made her even more nervous.

After a bit of walking she looked back and noticed Katie had actually not followed her and felt a bit of a relief, the least she needed was her fucking sister making things even more awkward and painful than they already were.

The way her and Naomi had parted, the way things had ended was really very painful…Naomi had confessed to having cheated on her twice while she was on the road with her comedy show and though she tried to blame it on alcohol and drugs, Emily knew by this point that she couldn't take it anymore.

The worse part wasn't even the cheating, not the act of cheating…the worse part of all was Naomi's attitude about the entire thing.

She had acted so nonchalant about it all, as if fucking two different randoms after her show in some small town up north meant nothing.

And it was weird because the first time Naomi had cheated, Emily had been devasted and crushed but had taken her girlfriend back because she felt a sincerity in those words that Naomi poured out in the middle of Freddy's shed that night.

For a long time those words ran true with Naomi. For their entire time after college, their gap year travelling, their Uni years Naomi had always been a bit of a bitch, but never the way she'd become in the last few years.

She was completely out of control.

And her leap into the world of "Comedy" had only made things worse. This comedy thing was supposed to be an outlet, a hobby and something fun that Naomi would do while she got published or got a proper job but it had turned into her most powerful arm against the rest of the world.

Comedy had become the last straw, their little house of twigs could not take anymore.

At first Naomi had been highly unsuccessful, she had started doing it as a joke with one of her mates (who all thought her sarcasm was hilarious) and had encouraged her to go onstage and make some extra bucks, since neither her writing career nor her attempt a social advocacy had really panned out.

They were all now in their mid-twenties and had gone travelling and to Uni together (Actually Naomi had quit in the last semester, claiming she didn't need standardized education to 'be' someone…ironically not being able to get a job with a CV that stated she was 30 credits away from graduating showed her otherwise.)

So she'd become a comedienne/writer/social advocate/hipster. She'd joined a crowd that was even more weird than she was, a crowd of people different from her regular friends from Bristol with which they ended up losing touch.

Effy stayed around along with Cook (sometimes, because he'd disappear to Manchester often on 'business' for months) and of course Katie, but only because she was related to Emily and had no choice. Everyone else pretty much disliked her girlfriend. And she disliked them back.

So that's how Naomi, the bitch had been born. That was her act, or at least that was her excuse for it all. When they were out in public she'd keep her imagine of a ranting, rambling, annoying, know-it-all bitch that knew every come back and whose jokes started be more and more just Naomi spewing her own anger and frustration over her failed careers (Comedy wasn't really going all that well either)

_"How many people here are in a relationship…yea…" Naomi said looking around at no one in particular in the audience. "They suck, don't they? They not only suck but they also suck the fucking living energy out of you…one day you're fine, you're walking around minding your fucking business and then suddenly you fall in love and puff…(she falls on the floor for theatrical effect) you are fucking done mate…absolutely done."_

But it was during the worse time possible, the time when Emily needed Naomi by her side the moment that her girlfriend decided it'd be a good idea to blurt out her frustration in her act…without even talking to Emily about it…without even asking for permission to use their story, or their words, or their issues…suddenly everything was out in the open and all Naomi had to say about it was that 'true art imitates life'

That sentence infuriated Emily, it made her mad enough to wanna fight back and just beat Naomi to the ground the way she had done with Katie so many years ago at the college love ball.

Except this time she didn't do shit. She stayed quiet and ate up her anger and frustration over what Naomi was doing. Naomi, just like Katie, just like Jenna…just like everyone else she loved always had this same effect on her.

And all of a sudden, Emily was the once again the door mat.

"What the…?" Was all Naomi could say as Emily walked in the hallway toward the little waiting area in the Oncology wing at the hospital where Naomi sat alone, waiting for her doctor to call her in.

"Effy couldn't make it, she asked me to…"

"She should've asked me for permission…"

"Permission?" Emily's eyes watered at the way Naomi suddenly started to take to her. The last three days since Effy had told her about what was happening she'd done nothing but cry so her nerves were completely shot, the bags under her eyes, her face was practically swollen.

Naomi looked up at her and buried her nails into the palm of her own hands because she had the urge to take Emily into her arms and kiss her in every single place that she'd hurt her.

She wanted to hold her, she wanted to kiss her, she wanted to ask her to make all of this nightmare go away...like she had always done.

Emily was her anchor, and all of a sudden she felt like she was drowning.

But she couldn't ask her to do that. She'd hurt her way too much and she knew it. She had stepped all over her, she'd done to her the same exact thing all of them did to her and now as her life was about to change…or maybe about to end all she wanted to do was hold on to her and cry…she wanted to take back all that time she'd lost being a stupid fucking cunt to her and to everyone.

"I am sorry"

Naomi took a long sigh and just looked at Emily who looked back at her with a worried face and all she could think about, the only words that came into her mind were the ones that had been playing on it since the time Emily had walked out their flat for the very last time.

_"The people who make us happy are never the people we expect. so when you find someone, you've got to cherish it. Cherish each moment as if it was your last."_

The words of Gina Campbell.


	3. Katie, the cow

**_Well, I see some of you really hating hard on Naomi (the bitch) and I completely understand that because my other Naomi (Wonderwall Naomi) is such a marshmallow and this one just kinda leaves a sour taste in your mouth. Regardless, I hope you don't keep your promise of not reading this because you dislike her, after all the title says it all and also...remember bitches have heart too...nobody is a bitch for no reason. _**

**_Also, I know this story is set during series 7 and you despise Skins Fire and the outcome of that monstrosity but remember what the letter AU stand for, it's an alternate Universe and as (hopefully) some of you know I am not exactly a fan Jess Brittain or the way she had complete disregard for our fandom and these character that maybe legally belong to Skins but that in the long run end up really belonging to all of us. _**

**_So with that I remind you that (legally) these characters aren't mine, only story, that I have no beta reader, etc, etc. _**

**_I also wanted to thank you for your follows, your comments and your loyalty to my story and all the Naomily/Keffy/Skins stories that are still active out there. One with the story...  
_**

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_Katie, the cow_

Anyone who ever met Katie Fitch could immediately see the type of person she was by just staring at her. Those deep brown eyes that looked so much like her sister Emily's, always wearing a look of superiority, as if she (and everyone else around her) could notice she wasn't like everyone else. She was above them, she was above them all.

So when Emily walked into her flat, wearing those same brown eyes full of sadness and grief and puffed up from all that she'd cried, Katie could not help but roll her own eyes and pretend she was annoyed…when in reality there was a streak of pain that flooded her entire being, because she knew right then and there...she was certain that this look in her sister's eyes meant the worse.

It meant everything was about to fall apart.

"So you went to appointment, I presume"

Emily didn't answer anything back; she looked at her sister for a minute with a bit of anger at hearing the tone with which she had started this conversation. After a minute she looked back to the TV which she'd turned on two seconds prior as she sat on the sofa in her brother's living room staring blankly into some kind of an advert about dishwashing liquid. She pretended to ignore her completely.

"And I am guess by the looks of you and how long its taken you to come back that it didn't go well…"

Katie stood right next to the couch, almost waiting for Emily to look up from the TV set when she was talking to her. Even though her stomach was in knots at the thoughts flowing through her mind about what news Naomi had gotten, she did not sit down next to her sister…she did not comfort her like she really wanted to because despite the fact that Emily looked utterly crushed, there was a part of Katie (that part that was usually the one that everyone saw, her loudest part) that wanted to make sure Emily knew she still disapproved of her sister going to see Naomi.

She wanted Emily to admit she was right.

This is how Katie was, this is how she'd always been…even now, years later, after how close Emily and her had become her default was always to be the one on top, the queen bee. She didn't like being defied but by the looks of Emily she also knew it wasn't the time to gnaw at her sister as she normally did in every situation as she was already looking more crushed than she'd ever seen her.

Still, Katie was right...she had been right about Emily coming back in pain after seeing Naomi and she hated having to say I told you so…so she didn't _say it…_at least not with her words; but definitely with her eyes.

"You ignoring me isn't gonna make this situation any different. Whatever it is that's happening is still gonna happen whether you tell me about it or not."

Her voice was much softer now than seconds prior, yet to Emily it all sounded like it always did. Everything that came out of Katie Fitch's mouth lately (and possibly always) had always meant to irk, pester, to gnaw at her sister as if she fed off of Emily's pain and suffering.

So Emily chose to ignore her, she chose not to talk about this pain she was hiding deep inside her. A pain that was corroding every fibre in her being, a pain that was killing her from the insides.

"So you're just _not_ gonna tell me…you're pissed off because I was right when I told you not to go see her…"

Katie went on as if she were having a conversation, though in reality Emily hadn't even answered her back. She stared at the TV and flipped through the channels, quietly, completely ignoring the elder twin who kept on talking despite Emily clearly ignoring her. Badgering Emily (and everyone) was Katie's favorite sport, she was a fucking cow and everyone always knew it. It was no secret to anyone.

"What did she say when she saw you were there instead of Effy? Did she fucking throw some sarcastic clever insult at you like she always does?" She said finally sitting down at the tip of the sofa next to Emily who purposely crossed her legs over to the left to give her back to her sister a bit, pulling the volume up on some kind of a cooking show and pretending no one was talking to her.

"_Don't tell_…she fucking threw you out, didn't she? She didn't even let you go in there with her, she probably threw some kind of a hissy-fit and asked the nurses not to allow you in or something…did she do that? Tell me that she did NOT do that because if she did something like that and this is why you're crying this way I swear to fucking God…"

"Katie!" Emily finally responded loudly. She's got fucking Cancer, you cow"

Katie stayed quiet and looked at Emily who threw the remote to one side and broke down crying into the sofa falling into fetal position, holding her hand to her heart as if someone had just shot a bullet right through it. Her pain so loud, so evident that even her sister 's eyes started to water.

"I am sorry, I knew Effy had said that it could be a possibility…I was just hoping…I was hoping they were wrong." Katie's voice full of emotion fell flat into her sister's ears and as she went to try to caress Emily's hair a bit, the redhead pushed her away from her bitterly.

"Don't fucking lie, you're probably glad this is happening, you've always hated her guts…always wanted her gone from our lives. Now you've got your way as usual"

Katie's heart shrunk a bit at the way Emily was talking to her because even though it was true that she had never gotten on with Naomi (the way Emily had hoped) it hurt to know that her sister thought she'd be glad to hear Naomi may be dying. Did she really think she was that much of a cow?

"Is she…?"

"Unfortunately for you, she isn't…at least not yet" Emily did not even let Katie finish asking the question. She actually did not wanna hear the words death and Naomi in the same sentence again.

All she could do was picture what had happened hours earlier and her heart was in such pain, her mind was so fragile that she could hardly think…she could hardly process all that was happening…

_"__That is what the biopsy indicated, and in that case our best bet is to treat with radiotherapy initially and then there's the possibility of a surgery later on…"_

_"__Surgery?" Emily was the one who answered back, her voice cracking enough to have her clear her throat before going on with the questions. "Why not do the surgery right now? Remove it all, get rid of it all and just…"_

"They caught it early enough for her to still have some options" Emily went on after a bit of a sigh, a bit of relief to her lungs that had been working overtime as her crying had taken over her entire system.

"Well that's good" Katie said moving closer, taking her sister's hand in hers and looking straight into her eyes. "You know, Aunt Julie…"

"Aunt Julie had thyroid cancer, stage 1, they caught it very early and she was treated by like the top 3 Oncologist in the world or some shit, you know Uncle Peter and her can afford that but Naomi and I…"

"She'll be fine Em, maybe she can't be flown out somewhere to be treated by celebrity doctor or whatever but that doesn't mean she can't get cured...there are so many cases, not just Aunt Julie, but so many people who have survived…"

_"__At this stage the survival rate is of about 75% for the first 5 years…" _

_"__75% is high, right?" Emily inquired, her hand trailing small circles around Naomi's hand which she had taken into her own since the conversation had started. Naomi on the other hand, hadn't said anything at all, wasn't even looking at the doctor as he spoke. She just stood there staring blankly into a 3D glass model of women's reproductive system, not really looking at it...almost looking as if she was just lost in her thoughts. The warmth of her hand being the only indication to Emily that she was still alive and breathing._

"That's only if she's treated…" Emily said as her voice turned from sad to completely erratic, she moved over toward Katie and hugged her sister and started to sob with even more emotion than before.

"If? What do you mean if?"

_"__And what if I don't take the treatment? What if I refuse…"_

_"__Refuse?" Emily said moving her hand away from Naomi and looking straight at her as Naomi looked up from her prior catatonic state. _

_"__Ms. Campbell, refusing treatment with be…"_

_"__Idiotic" Emily answered before the doctor could go on. "Are you some kind of a fucking idiot? How can you even ask that question? Aren't you hearing what the doctor is saying? They've caught it early enough to have a chance and what…you're gonna refuse being treated?"_

"What!" Katie said getting up off the sofa more outraged than she'd been since the conversation had started. "What the fuck do you mean she is refusing?"

"She says she doesn't wanna suffer through the side effects"

"What so she rather fucking _die_? For Fucks sake! I knew that bitch was a fucking imbecile but this is just fucking ridiculous…"

"Stop talking about her that way!"

"What, now you're gonna defend this shit? Even you said, she's been a fucking idiot about this. I am agreeing with you on this…I am on your side…"

"My side? What side? I've got no side, Katie…I've got no say in this at all anymore…"

The fury that Katie felt when Emily said that to her was beyond her because as she heard those words and looked at her sister's eyes she knew that this was Emily blaming herself for things Naomi did all over again.

She'd seen it so much that it was all tattooed into her head, she knew the story backwards and forwards like an old nursery rhyme.

There she was, her sister being a doormat to Naomi once again. There she went blaming herself for leaving her as if all that had happened was somehow Emily's fault. As if it hadn't been Naomi who had cheated, who had become a disastrous bitch, who had pushed her sister away…who had cancelled a wedding that had cost her parents money and had wasted everyone's time with some lame excuse only a few days before it all went down.

That bitch had crushed her sister's heart and all Emily could ever do was make excuses for her. All she could do was find reason upon reason to excuse Naomi's misbehavior.

This was all so ridiculous, the way Emily acted as if all that ever happened to them was her fault, as if anything Naomi did had some kind of an excuse and even this…even Naomi being a fucking imbecile and refusing to be treated…preferring to die was somehow Emily's doing.

If Katie hated Naomi to death at any moment of their lives, this was the moment.

"She can't do this to you…_to us_…" Katie said furiously, sitting back down next to Emily and pulling her over so that he sister could lay her head on her lap.

"She's such a selfish cow" Katie went on, caressing her sister's hair as they both lay there with the murmur of the TV in front of them, images of protests and war in a faraway country playing while some newscaster reported the news of the day.

"I know because so am I, us cows recognize each other from miles away."

A small chuckle from Emily made Katie looked down into her sister's eyes and purse her lips as if she was trying to hide a smile.

It wasn't a time to be smiling or laughing, it was a time for grief and though Katie realized that this was probably the worst possible moment in her sister's life (so far) she always knew that somehow it was her job to make things right. She couldn't sit quietly and just allow that bitch that she once thought would be her sister-in-law to fucking make her little sister hurt that much again.

She had to fucking fix this.

So maybe _Katie Fucking Fitch_ was a cow, maybe she was selfish and unkind at times and she had that air of superiority that never left her side…but she had one attribute that most people often disregarded when they judged her, she loved her sister and her family more than she loved herself.

Nobody could tell by the way she looked or the way she talked or the way she walked into a room, but deep inside Katie Fucking Fitch was the way she was because it was the only way for her to survive…the only way for her to take care and protect the ones she loved.

Even when the ones she loved were being stupid fucking cows.

_"__Do me a favor and call me as soon as you get a chance" _

She waited until Emily fell asleep and she took her phone from the side table next to the sofa and typed up a text.

_"__We need to talk" _

She pursed her lips once again and took the remote that was now in her other hand and turned off the TV set and remained caressing her little sister's hair as she sat there with a worrisome look in her deep brown eyes.

She pulled a small wool blanket that lay behind them on the couch over Emily and scrunched and moved her legs a bit more as she looked out into the sunset through the blinds of her brother's living room windows as day started turning into night.

This was gonna be the longest night of her life.

She didn't even make an effort to move Emily or wake her up, but it was okay because she knew that after this news she wasn't gonna be able to go to sleep anyway.

And it didn't really matter if she was in an uncomfortable position or if her legs were already going numb from having Emily's head laying upon them. She didn't even bother to move around and be more comfortable. It was gonna be a long night no matter what position she was in, but that really didn't matter to her.

_They say cows don't lie down to sleep anyhow. _

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_**BTW, that's a lie...cows do lie down to sleep but I am in Texas and I had like an hour crack conversation with my brother-in-law about cow-tipping last night...I just thought it was funny how many people believe that. If you don't know what cow-tipping is you should google it and you'll see just one more evidence of how dumb people can be. **_

_**Anywho, thanks for reading and all reviews are welcomed (good or bad). I will update this (and Wonderwall) as soon as I can very soon. G**__**ood weekend, my peeps. :)**_


	4. Effy, the mindfuck

**A/N: I just updated Wonderwall and I had written this one on my tablet but wasn't very happy with it so since I am here and I can't sleep I decided to update this one as well...hope you like it. Let me know what you think...thanks for reading!**

**Disclaimer: All Characters belong to Skins, mistakes are mine as I have no beta.**

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Effy, the mindfuck

Effy Stonem was a special girl. Anyone who ever came across those crystalline blue eyes that seemed to envelop you into them like a kaleidoscope full of wonder fell in love with her instantly, whether it was in a crazy sexual way like it had once happened to James Cook or in a majestic love-of-their-life way like it had happened to Freddie McClair…absolutely everyone fell somehow, at some point for those eyes and when they did their lives were never the same again.

Even her mum, Anthea had once admitted to Freddie while they both at outside Effy's hospital room that she knew her daughter had something beyond what other people had, that she was something special.

Her speciality was quite rare, ever since before she could even talk she fucked with people's minds with those clear blue eyes and that knowing grin filled with the perfect twist of sweetness and naught.

Effy always fucked with everyone's head, she made them all fall for her and there were really no exceptions to that rule. Meeting Effy meant relinquishing all control over to her, and falling without really even knowing how. Meeting Effy was like climbing up a hill with no tethers. There was no way back.

So for years, Effy had been having all sorts of people loving her more than they even knew why and this same thing had happened to Naomi as well, except her love for Effy was neither sexual, nor romantic…her love and admiration for the mysteriously wonderful brunette was that love that you feel for that long-lost lifetime friend that you lose touch with for years and then you suddenly meet up with one day while on sitting on the train on your way to work and you miss your exit because you can't stop reminiscing and wanting to talk to them until you possibly can.

Ever since these two met each other there was a bond, even if in the beginning there was just a mutual understanding that came from nods and cheeky grins filled with a complicity that they often shared.

Even Katie, who after years of battling out with Effy finally gave up onto her charms and became her best mate (well, one of them…Naomi was the other one) did not share that sense of complicity that these the two blue-eyed beauties shared.

So that morning when Effy walked back to their house after having stayed over a Jake's wonderfully luscious flat, she only had to take a look at Naomi once to know exactly what was going on with her.

Naomi was lost.

"Right" she said to herself as she pulled that coquettish tin holder where she kept her fags, spliffs and lighter out from between her breast and pulled out one.

She walked over elegantly like she always did and crossed her legs and sat on the floor next to Naomi who for the first time in her entire life (since they'd moved in together) lay flat on the floor looking up at ceiling as if there was a giant movie screen playing one of those boring-arse 'save the earth' documentaries that she made all of them watch now and again during their movie-nights.

"What are we looking at?" Effy said as she took a drag and blew smoke out up the ceiling while she scooched herself down to the floor right nearby her best mate and placed her head on her shoulder.

Naomi didn't respond, which to Effy wasn't abnormal as this was the way many of their conversations took place…in between one word responses and complete silences.

"You know, I've never actually laid here before…this rug is rather comfortable. Remind me to ring Gina up and thank her for the gift, it's not every day one can lay and ponder on top of a wine-stained Persian Farsh of this caliber…"

Again there was no response from Naomi, not even an attempt on giving Effy the evil-eye for once again bringing up how she's dropped more than half of a very expensive wine bottle that her boyfriend had bought especially for them both on the even more expensive carpet that Gina had brought them back from her travels to the middle east.

The non-response could've been weird for anyone else, had they been the person lying next to Naomi at that time…but not for Effy. Because Effy could read her best mate like a book, she knew that look, she knew exactly why Naomi could hardly move from that same spot she had probably been laying on for several hours…mostly likely since she'd come back from the doctor's appointment the day before.

She knew this look on Naomi more than any other look, this look had a reason, it had a why…this look had a name...it was Emily Rose Fitch…

_"__So…no Cook?"_

_"__Why would there be a Cook?"_

_"__You seeing him, aren't you?"_

_"__I am fucking him; occasionally…I am not…seeing him."_

_"__There's a distinction?"_

_"__Yea"_

_Of course there was a distinction and Naomi understood it, they had hardly ever spoken as friends back then…they had met on occasion, done some drugs and drank and probably danced together way too many times but Effy and Naomi hadn't talked much back in those days yet…but somehow they didn't really need to. _

_They'd only managed to speak about thrice in their entire lives and Effy already knew more about Naomi Campbell than anyone else in the world for some reason. She could already see that look in her eyes. _

_"__No Emily?"_

_Naomi stopped for a second, almost mad at herself for being so obvious…though the truth was that she wasn't being too obvious. The truth was that Effy Stonem just got into people's heads…she just knew. When no one else could possibly know, Effy always did. _

_Because Effy could read everyone like an open book, ever since before she could read an actual book herself. That's how she did it…that's how she fucked with everyone's mind. _

_She was a master headfuck, and every one knew that. _

_But somehow no one cared…no one seemed to mind being fucked around with as long as that brunette with the mesmerizingly beautiful eyes did the fucking. _

_That was her way…that was her truth. It was how she survived all the tragedy that was life. _

_"__Truth…"_

_"__Is it that obvious?"_

_"__You don't have to be a genius to work it out"_

"She yelled at me"

Naomi finally spoke as Effy smiled and smoked away, basking in the glory of her mindfucking superpowers.

How she did that, no one knows…and it was probably normal or even obvious to a person that did not know these two to think that them being best mates was the reason why Effy could get Naomi to tell her things before she even asked them…but with Effy Stonem that wasn't the case.

Effy was special, she knew exactly the words, the sights, the perfect number of drags from her cigarette it took for Naomi to budge and tell her everything that was clogging up her mind. All those things Effy already knew because all she had to do was take a look at her, the way she was laying on a carpet she hardly even stepped on in the close to five years they'd lived together, the way she gazed firmly at the crème-colored ceiling, the way her eyes were smiling even when her mouth was closed shut.

Effy knew that Emily was all that Naomi could think about for all those hours, while laying down on that carpet just staring up…lost in Emily's presence, lost in the light that was Emily to Naomi's life.

To Naomi, Emily had always meant more than just love, or lust or want or need…to Naomi, Emily was the light that sparked all that meant anything worth living for.

That's why Effy had made up that work meeting and convinced the little brunette twin to meet Naomi for her appointment.

It wasn't because Effy did not want to be there, because Naomi was like a sister she never had and missing such an appointment devastated Effy to the point of having to drink way more than she allowed herself (she'd cut down all her vices in order to remain in control, and she'd managed to do so for close to five years now.)

Now that five years had passed and Freddie wasn't haunting her mind anymore and now Effy was building her life up…so making a bit of scene in front of Jake after drinking too much had been way too embarrassing.

So she'd spent all that time thinking about Naomi's results and she couldn't help but drink to try to remain calm. Effy wanted to be there, but even if Effy was the one that could read Naomi's mind…Emily was more than that…Emily was the owner of every single thought in Naomi's mind ever since she kissed her behind those rose bushes at Tom Higgin's 13th birthday bash back in middle school more than 10 years prior.

Ever since Naomi saw Emily she knew that she was all she'd need to be happy for the rest of her life and to know this at 12, is something huge.

Emily was Naomi's everything. Emily was her light.

"Did she?"

"She called me an idiot…when all I asked was the outcome of life if I were to NOT take the treatment…"

"Wait…what? I don't understand…"

In all the years Effy had known Naomi, in all the time they'd spent not talking to each other while smoking spliffs and getting bladdered and hijacking the world with their matching pair of blue eyes had those words ever come out of Effy's mouth.

"What the fuck are you saying?"

Naomi's eyes finally moved as she suddenly felt the shadow of her best friend almost jump up from where she'd been laying and stand up right in front of her with her hands on her waist, looking remarjably like Peter Pan.

"Is that why Katie's been fucking messaging me all night? She hardly let Jake and I a break…he had me turn my mobile off after so much insistence…"

Naomi just stared up at Effy who had suddenly exploded into a hurricane of words and queries and questions that she did not have time to answer.

"How could you possibly even consider such a fucking..?…what are you some kind of an…?"

She'd never seen Effy so perplexed and furious and communicative all at the same time. She'd never heard her say so much and yet not find the words to describe what she was saying.

She stood up off the wine-stained rug in almost one motion and took her best mate in her arms and held her.

"You ARE a fucking idiot….you're a fucking…a fucking…"

"…Bitch" Naomi answered before Effy could go on.

She knew those things she'd been thinking about before Emily had arrived, those stupid thoughts about the poetic justice of dying young were erased from her mind…because when Emily showed up in that hospital all of a sudden there was this light and then she saw it all too clear and for the first time in months she felt like she needed to be alive again.

She felt like needed a thousand more years to win her back…

So that's why she wasn't sure why she'd even said that to the doctor that afternoon.

She wasn't sure why she'd brought that question up in front of Emily if her real question was what she could possibly do to live the most she could because this beautiful woman that was now holding her hand in between those two brown chairs in her oncologist's office WAS the reason to keep on breathing for a thousand more years if that was possible.

"I'm dying without her" She told her best mate, as Effy took her by the cheeks and looked at her straight in the eyes. "I don't know how to do any of this…I can't do this, because I fucked it up and I can't…"

"You can…yes you fucking can…you just gotta stop being a fucking stupid cunt and start to face shit…stop twatting about and fix this shit…you stupid fucking…bitch…"

Naomi kissed her best mate straight on the lips and then held her some more while she actually felt Elizabeth Stonem crying her eyes out like that lost little girl she'd become way back in their college days.

All of a sudden images of Katie and Panda walking nervously back and forth as Thomas an JJ sat on the floor and she held on to Emily….all of them sitting outside Effy's hospital room the first and second and all the times she attempted to take her life after Cook had come back wearing John Foster's blood on his hands with the worse news in their entire lives. The shrieks of pain coming from the inside as nurses and orderlies tied her up and medicated her,that same pain…more controlled, yet still as desperate was emanating from the shrivering body of her best friend.

Naomi knew what the thought of death did to her best mate. Naomi knew that after Freddie McClair, Elizabeth Stonem had traced a line between life and death and was afraid to cross it.

So at the thought of this…at the thought of her best mate no longer being in her life Effy regressed back to those days where she was no longer a head fuck…only fucked up in the head.

And for a moment Effy was gone.

"I am not gonna fucking do it…I am taking the fucking treatment, alright?…I just wanted to…"

"Fuck with our minds?" Effy asked with a sight of disgust in her eyes. "Test us out? Is that what you were planning on doing? You think that's funny? To fuck with people's heads like that…

"What? Nouuuu…" Naomi's voice raised a few decibels at hearing the accuaation. "I would never…"

"Never?" Effy demanded "Really? Never…you have NEVER done something like that?"

Naomi looked at Effy who for the first time in her entire life looked genuinely mad at her. If she hadn't been looking into those crystalline Stonem eyes she could've closed her own and imagined she was getting one of Katie's famous scolding marathons.

She stopped for a minute because though Effy was her best friend and somehow always knew it all, she was sure she did not know _this_.

So Naomi had to watch her answer, she had to pick and choose her next few words because she knew perfectly well that whatever was said right after that could potentially make or break that perfect bond she'd shared with her best mate for all those years.

So she chose to say…nothing at all…

Silence is acceptance.

"I fucking knew it!" Effy said with such rage that she cared very little as she pumped her heal into the cigarette bud on top of the very expensive rug Naomi's mother had once brought them back as a gift. "You bitch!"

Naomi looked at her in awe; she watched her walk away after that and smack the door to her bedroom so hard that the entire house shook along with it.

She could not figure out how she could've fucking known about that…and she knew that there wasn't a way of finding out from Effy's part. So she did the only thing that came to her mind, she took her phone that had been charging on a side table nearby and started to dial a number.

"You've been talking to Effy, haven't you?"

She yelled furiously at the person on the other side of the line, who so far hadn't even had a chance to say hello.

"You fucking told her…"

"Naomi, I…"

The line hung up by Naomi was all the other person heard on their end and by the time they tried calling back it took them straight to their voicemail.

It was out there and she knew it was a matter of time before it was all out in the open.

Because that's how things tend to happen.

Effy always got to the truth, from everyone…no exceptions. None.

"_My fucking best mate, who by the way is sitting in the audience right now can agree with me that one ever has to do to get to someone…I mean, really get them is to fuck with their minds just a tiny bit. _

_And mates, if there is one single person in the entirety of our lovely mother earth that can fuck with people's minds is my best friend. The girl was reading minds before she read the alphabet and can give you one single look…a single stare and fuck you right up so hard you're gonna wish you'd have arse-insurance. _

_That's her…that's my best friend…that's friend Effy, the mindfuck."_

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**Thanks for reading! Review and let me know what your thoughts are on this Naomi...shall I continue?**


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